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Once upon a time, a beautiful princess happened upon a frog in a pond.

The frog said to the princess, “I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel lucky for doing so.”

That night the princess had frog legs for dinner.
joke, princess, frog, lol

Two guys are playing golf. The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up.

So one man says to his friend, "I'm gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through."

He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks what happened.

He replies, "One of those women is my wife, and the other is my mistress. Why don't you go talk to them?"

So the second man starts to walk over. He gets halfway there and turns around.

When he gets back, his friend asks,"Now what happened?"

To this he replies, "Small world."

after lockdown remember who checked on you, texted you, supported you, a literal pandemic is not the time to measure or test the loyalty of your friends, we're all doing the best we can with what we've got
you're an adult now, pick 3, full time job, a consistent workout schedule, a sex life, the will to live, a fridge with actual food in it, one large coffee