i am not alive but i grow

A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband ‘s temper.

The Doctor asks: “What’s the problem?

The woman says: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.”

The Doctor says: “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down.”

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

The woman says: “Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”

The Doctor says: “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick”.

Need to iron a shirt but don’t have time? Hang it up in the bathroom while you shower and the steam combined with the heat will cause the wrinkles to come out.

If you’ve just met someone but you forget their name simply ask them what their name is. When they tell you, say “no, I meant your last name.” This way you don’t seem rude while being reminded of what their name is.

Want a cold beer but don’t want to wait? Take a wet paper towel and wrap it around the can or bottle. Place the beer upright in the freezer and it will be nicely chilled within two minutes.

Want to get more gasoline for your buck? Fill up your tank when it’s cold out. This is easy during the winter, but during warmer months, try to fill it up only at night. During the day gasoline expands due to the heat, so you’re not getting as much as you pay for.

Here’s a nice rule and it will serve you well when eating out, especially on a date. If you can’t afford to tip at least 20%, you can’t afford to go out.

Hate bad hair days, especially when it’s humid because your hair is so frizzy? Squeeze some lemon in to your shampoo bottle, the acidity will cause your hair to be less frizzy.

If you are ever worried about a cab driver scamming you by taking a longer route, put the destination in the GPS on your phone, this way it’s impossible for him to screw you over.

If you’re trying to lose weight, don’t fast. When you skip meals your body actually holds on to fat longer as it doesn’t know when it will be getting its next calorie boost, thus making it harder to burn calories from fat.

Statistically, airplane tickets are cheapest around 50 days before the flight. The second cheapest is the day of the flight because the airline is pressed to fill seats.

Drinking cold water on an empty stomach can greatly increase your metabolism. Your body has to work harder to warm the water up for digestion.